Tryouts and Tests

beberapa hari sebelom modul..
beberapa hari sebelom ujian praktek..
beberapa minggu sebelom UAS..
beberapa minggu sebelom UAN..
beberapa bulan sebelom libur..
beberapa bulan sebelom kelulusan..
beberapa bulan sebelom prom night..
beberapa bulan sebelom kuliah..

MEN!! gue mendadak panik. bentar lagi udah urusannya bukan "SMA mana?" tapi udah "kuliah dimana?" anjir. terus bentar lagi mulai bahas-bahas modul-modul tiap hari. wuoah! terakhir kali kayanya "entar lah, UAN masih 3 taon lagi" lah ini, udah di depan mata. seketika panik sendiri. padahal dulu pas SMP kayanya pas mau modul gue kalem banget. kaga pake deg2an segala. sebenernya rada lega juga sih, pas tau jadwal UAN, gak ada kwn sama sejarah. biasanya itu 2 yang suka bikin gue nervous duluan bahkan pas masih jauh dari ulangannya. tapi pas UASnya justru ada kwn sejarah. mampus banget.

senen, udah mulai modul sekaligus ujian praktek. kenapa pula ujian praktek di campur sama modul? gimana ceritanya gue mau fokus coba kira-kira? terus abis ujian praktek 2 minggu, gak lama UAS, abis itu UAN. kalo udah lewat UAS aja deh, gue sedikit lebih lega. tapi tetep aja itu kwn sejarah gue gimana kabarnyaa? mana gara-gara ni ujian-ujian, nyokap jadi gak kasi gue sering latian. jadi repot bener nentuin jadwal latian. elah buset. stres sendiri ngebayangin 3 bulan kedepan. UAN oh UAN. cepetan tanggal 18 April jam 12 siang deh. udah kelar UAN itu, gue mau langsung merayakan #asek.

Too Late...

I know it's too late..
I know it's useless..
everybody is telling me that I'm strong enough to face this..
alone..

everybody tells me to move on..
everybody cheers me up..
everybody believe that I'm tough..
but I don't..

I'm all alone, here..
pretending like I'm ok..
when I'm actually not..
laughing in front of people, but crying behind them..

I know I made mistakes..
and regret that..
I am terribly sorry..
I miss you and I need you..

there's no word to describe much pain that I feel now..
I just want you to know that I am sorry..
I hope that you might open your heart, someday..
just open it, and I'll come to you..

I am sorry, Ney..

Regretness

Here is the situation..

I dumped a guy, to whom I gave my whole heart..

But then suddenly, I made a mistake..

No, actually 4 mistakes..

But that guy always forgives me..

Now, stupid me..

I made my 5th mistake..

This time that guy wont forgive me..

I regret this..

Even more than before..

But it's too late..

Selfish girl like me can't get him again..

I don't know maybe this is what people call Karma..

I dumped him with all of his kindness..

And so when I realize that I need him..

I lost him already, like maybe forever..

I'm sorry, Ney..

-by: Tessa. 26/01/2013; 7:59; multimedia room-

A Little Too Not Over You - David Archuleta

Oohhhh oh, oh..
It never crossed my mind at all.
It's what I tell myself.
What we had has come and gone.
You're better off with someone else.
It's for the best, I know it is.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside,
And I turn around.
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out.

Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you....

Memories, supposed to fade.
What's wrong with my heart?
Shake it off, let it go.
Didn't think it'd be this hard.
Should be strong, movin' on.
But I see you.
Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside.
And I turn around,
You're with him now.
I just can't figure it out.

Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.

Maybe I regret everything I said,
No way to take it all back, yeah...
Now I'm on my own..
How I let you go, I'll never understand.
I'll never understand, yeah, oohh..
Oohhh, oohhh, oohhhh..
Oohhh, ooohhhh, oohhh.

Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
I'm just a little too not over you.

Tell me why you're so hard to forget.
Don't remind me, I'm not over it.
Tell me why I can't seem to face the truth.
And I really don't know what to do.
I'm just a little too not over you.
Not over you, oohhh..

Hati Dan Otak

hati bilang iya, otak bilang jangan..

hati bilang lanjut, otak bilang stop..

hati bilang bener, otak bilang salah..

hati bilang baik, otak bilang brengsek..

hati bilang wajar, otak bilang GILA!

hati bilang seneng, otak bilang "gak seharusnya lu seneng"..

otak sama hati gak pernah sejalan..

selalu bertentangan..

tapi ending2nya gue selalu ngikutin hati gue..

yang lagi-lagi, menurut otak gue itu salah..

cape.

maybe...

maybe I'm insane..
maybe I'm out of my mind..
maybe this is stupid..

but I think it's the best way I could ever do..
WE could ever do..

When I Was Your Man - Bruno Mars

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now

Our song on the radio but it don't sound the same

When our friends talk about you all it does is just tear me down

Couse my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

It all just sound like oooooooh

Mmm too young too dumb to realize

That I should've bought you flowers

and held your band

Shoulda gave you all my hours

When I had the chance

Take you to every party

Cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby's dancin'

But she's dancin' with another many needs and my selfish ways

Caused a good, strong woman like you to walk out my life

Now i'll never, never get to clean up the mess I made ooh

And that haunts me every time I close my eyes

It all just sound like ooooooh

Mmm too young too dumb to realize

That I should've brought you flowers

and held your hand

Shoulda gave you all my hours

When I had the chance

Take you to every party

cause all you wanted to do was dance

Now my baby's dancin'

But she's dancin' with another man

Although it hurts

I'll be the first to say that

I was wrong

Oh I know I'll probably much too late

To try and apologize for my mistakes

But I just want you to know

I hope he buys you flowers

I hope he holds your hand

Give you all his hours

when he had the chance

Take you to every party

cause I remember how much you love to dance

Do all the things I should've done

When I was your man

Do all the things I should've done

When I was your man

Painful Love

I love you

you know that, exactly

it hurts when you're with her, indeed

it hurts when you start to talk about her

it hurts when you start to "compare"

it hurts when you're seems so proud of her

it hurts when i see you text her

it hurts when i see your display picture with her

it hurts when you put her name on your status

it hurts when i know you spend your time and your family's holiday with her

it hurts when i realize that you both were super close

it hurts when i see your eyes while saying her name

i don't know,

but it hurts me more when you start to ignore me...

it hurts me the worst

you might don't understand how it feels

you never felt this kind of pain, huh?

you never really understood how i feel about you

you never really cared for me

you never really thought that i existed

i'm nothing to you, right?

just a girl, hip hop dancer that dances with you

just a little girl that know nothing about love

just a little girl that can't truly accept the truth

that you love her so much

yeah i think i don't really understand what love is

since i feel that this love is this painful,

when i used to think love supposed to be something beautiful

o2 Trip To Pangandaran

tanggal 26-30 kemaren, gue sama anak-anak o2 pergi ke pangandaran buat ngabisin liburan natal taon baru. tanggal 25 malem, gue sama Arthur udah standby di o2 buat nginep. tapi karena faktor "terlalu-semangat" jadinya kita gak bisa tidur. awalnya gue sama artur berniat buat begadang, tapi karena takut kecapean, jadinya tidur. gue tidur di kamar tamu, Arthur tidur di sofa di lantai 2. Tapi gue gak bisa tidur walaupun udah di paksain, akhirnya jam 3an, gue keluar. tiba-tiba yang tidur di sofa lantai 2 bukan artur, berubah jadi kak lutfi. terus gue ke bawah, artur ternyata tidur di ruang tamu, dan kayaknya pules banget. abis gue bangunin, gak lama angie dateng, terus ka monce. setelah kita siap, kak adit, kak wita sama mbak atun siap, kita pun berangkat dari o2 jam setengah 5an. 

26 Desember
singkat cerita, kita sampe di curug cilember jam 7an. main-main disana sampe jam 8an. itu dingin maksimal, tapi ka lutfi, ka adit sama artur berenang-berenang. gue cuma cemplung-cemplung kaki aja. abis dari curug, kita ke taman safari. disana seharian penuh sampe malem. gue main histeria gara-gara dipaksa anak2, alhasil gue mewek saking takutnya. tapi kata mereka itu gak ada apa-apanya dibandingin sama histeria yang di dufan. gila banget! abis itu ke daerah puncak pass, gak tau sih namanya apa. pokoknya yang ada mesjid gede, buat nungguin ka bogel nyusul. selama nunggu itu, kita tidur dan kak bogel sampe sana jam 11an. abis itu kita langsung jalan ke Ciamis, rumah neneknya ka adit.

27 Desember
kita sampe di Ciamis jam 8an, dan langsung pada tidur karena belom puas tidurnya. sorenya kita mancing, dan gue dapet ikan yang GEDE!! buat pergi ke empang tempat mancingnya itu, kita mesti lewatin sawah, pas perginya sih kaki gue gak kotor-kotor amat soalnya gak ujan. nah pas baliknya ujan, entah sawah siapa aja dan berapa sawah yang udah gue rusakin. tapi seru banget gokil. sampe rumah neneknya ka adit, kita bersihin ikan, mandi, terus makan. gue gak ikutan bersihin ikan gara-gara jijik maksimal.

28 Desember
kita jam 1 siang udah pergi ke pangandaran. tepatnya di Batu Karas sih. disana nginepnya di penginapan gitu. sampe di Batu Karas sekitar jam 8 malem, kita makan mandi terus pada tidur. tapi gue, angie, ka lutfi, ka bogel, sama ka monce main kartu sampe jam 1an. abis selesai main kartu tidurlah kita. 

29 Desember
pagi jam 8an, kita pergi ke tempat body raftingnya, di green canyon. kalo orang-orang tau rafting kan pake perahu, ini gak pake. jadi kita cuma dipakein life fest sama segala keperluan "berenang". jadi intinya kita kaya berenang di kali dengan arus yang lumayan deres dan banyak batu-batuan. sekitar jam 11an kita mulai rafting, segala banyak rintangn batu-batukita lewatin. manjat batu, ada goa, ada air terjun kecil yang kece banget airnya seger banget. selesai rafting sekitar jam setengah 6an. padahal kata ka wita, biasanya rafting cuma 4 jam. gak sadar ternyata 6 setengah jam sore. wow! tapi seru banget, bener-bener kece. pengen maen kesana lagi. selesai rafting kita makan, terus pulang dan mandi. abis itu kita ngobrol-ngobrol sampe malem. dan pas tidur pules banget gara-gara kecapean.

30 Desember
pagi, bangun udah siap-siap mau pulang. tapi kita jalan dari Batu Karas jam 3an siang, gara-gara sempet main water sport dulu di Batu Karas Beach. di perjalanangue kerjaannya cuma tidur doang. kita sampe o2 jam 3an subuh. terus gue pulang dan sampe rumah jam 4an. langsung tidur.

seru banget, pulang dari Pangandaran jadi berasa lebih akrab sama anak-anak. taon depan harus ada lagi trip begini, dan gue harus ikut!!